4. Keep a record of your experiences

 

As a new generation arrives, there are many great qualities that I observe within them, however there is one observation that I despair of, and that is “the lost practise of privacy’.

 

Today the catch cry of the masses is about popularity and the pursuit of being famous. The pursuit of sixty minutes of fame has a generation engulfed with watching role playing TV. There are a multitude of programmes that currently numb the minds of our generation. Programmes such as:

Survivor, Big brother, The Apprentice, Beebo, Myblog, You-tube and a plethora of outlandish scenarios that nullify privacy and decorum, in exchange for an indiscriminate world audience.

With the advent of instant messaging, information can be transmitted to anyone, anywhere at the tap of “send”. Information and situations that were once within the domain of intimacy and privacy are now blasted across the world stage for anyone and everyone to observe. Discretion, privacy, honour and intimacy, are no longer virtues held in high esteem by these new found “celebrities”.

 

I remember a story I heard many years ago.

 

A young boy had been caught lying often and as a result his parents taught him a lesson. They led him to a fence post and with a box of nails, began to hammer a nail into the post for every lie he had been found guilty of. Pretty soon there was little room for any more nails. His parents told him that they would remove a nail every time he told the truth. Months passed by and finally the post was nail free, but on seeing the post full of holes the son began to cry. “But what about the holes mum, the holes are still there!” “Well son” said his mum, “That’s true of all the words we use. We may be sorry we said them, but the effects remain. We can fill the holes up and paint the post but underneath they will always be there.”

 

It’s always best to think before we speak and in this technological world that we live, always pause before we hit “send” or “upload.”    

 

We primarily learn about ourselves as we navigate in solitude, not on the world stage. As a public speaker, I am mindful of what is for private consideration and that which is for my own growth and well-being. The things and situations that have learned privately are not always for public declaration.

 

Here are some factors that will assist you :

 

a) Keep a private diary of your intimate thoughts (and keep it off the internet)

b) Try to mind map your circumstances (use words to describe how you are)

c) When you are through the storm, revisit it to reveal how you responded

d) Maintain and safeguard your self respect, as other will not

e) Mystique is an empowering quality that defines the inner you, be careful and confident with whom and how you share it.

Maintaining self respect and control in a world that thrives on exposure and the loss of dignity, is perhaps the most intimate key in maintaining hope in who you are and who you were created to be.

  

3. Wisdom is found in a well travelled life

 

There is a wealth of untapped wisdom in those that have lived life. Maturity is not always found in age, but age guarantees us a portfolio of experiences. Take time to communicate with those wiser than oneself. The following "proverbs" are full of wisdom and thanks goes to Andy Rooney (TV personality and of "60 minutes - CBS"), for the following wisdom on life.

 

 

 

I Have Learned that...

• The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
• When you're in love, it shows.
• Just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
• Having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
• Being kind is more important than being right.
• You should never say no to a gift from a child.
• I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
• No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
• Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
• Simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
• Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
• We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
• Money doesn't buy class.
• It's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
• Under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
• The Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
• To ignore the facts does not change the facts.
• When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
• Love, not time, heals all wounds.
• The easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
• Everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
• There's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
• No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
• Life is tough, but I'm tougher.
• Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
• When you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
• I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
• One should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
• A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
• I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
• When your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
• Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
• It is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
• The less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

 

You see, wisdom is applied knowledge. Knowledge comes as a result of exposure to circumstances and situations. It doesn’t require a degree from a university, it requires a life exposed to failure and success, Pain and Joy, Loss and Gain, Love and Hate, Prosperity and Poverty, Good and Evil, Fear and Faith and using those experiences to benefit others at their place of need.

The greatest of all frauds is cheating one’s self, by living a life without hope.

The Power Of Hope - 2 Keep Perspective

2. Keep the storm in perspective

 

Remember what a thunderstorm sounded like as a child? To this day, I remember climbing under the family kitchen table whenever the lightning and thunder came. As an adult, I no longer hide under the table when storms come, but when my children were younger; they sought out some level of security during one. When the storms of life crash around us, they are often amplified or magnified. Perspective is lost and our life can become overwhelmed by the deafening sound of circumstances.

Human nature has a habit of reading the final pages of the story, rather than keeping the whole book in context. Here are some keys to keeping perspective:

a) Keep your inner thoughts (or self talk) regulated and positive. (It is so easy for us to allow our imagination to create an atmosphere of anxiety and fear. Faith and Fear share the same characteristics. We imagine than which we cannot see and when our enrgies are focussed on that which we believe we live in the realm of Faith or Fear. Positive affirmation either mobilises or immobilises us.

b) Recall the successful storms you have navigated in the past. There is no greater source of encouragement than bringing to memory that which we succeeded at. Recalling the "wins" in life, go a long way to overshadowing the "losses" Finding those who have been through storms is always a great strength to us. I recall when we were having our first baby, the nurses advice seemed shallow due to her childless status. The advice from a mother who had four children carried far more weight. Why? There is nothing like life experience that is gained from going through the experience.

c) Live a life prepared for storms. They will come, but don’t live in fear of them. No experienced sailor heads out to seas, without first preparing for a strom. Doesn't matter if the storm doean't come, but you beetter have the gear and boat prepared for one. Preparation is always the key to success. He who is successful in life, carries with them the magnet of preparation. Preparation draws success to us. Lack of preparation leaves us vulnerable and open to unfavouravble outcomes.

d) There are others facing greater storms than our storm, why not help them? Peripheral vision is essential to true perspective. Being aware of those around us whilst being focussed on the big picture, is a great source of empowerment. My mum always used to say "I used to complain about not having shoes until I saw a man with no feet". There are always those around us in greater need than ourself and the principle of "sowing and reaping" is true. You cant always take out of the gorund unless we put something back. Its true of farming and its true of life. Look for others in need and your problems lessen.  

Below is the word HOPE in twenty language.

  

The Power Of Hope.

 

As I have progressed through my life, there are some important lessons that I have learned out of the tragedies and disappointments that came my way. Perhaps the most challenging part of this process is accepting that the solution is rarely revealed to us during the process. The issues of life have a real way of beating us up, and leaving us disconnected from our hope.

 

Hope is not the type of wishful thinking we exercise whilst buying a lottery ticket. Hope by definition, is steadfast trust in the process. Hope is like the anchor on a ship or boat. Hope is attached to an immovable force, which holds fast regardless of the storms that rage around and upon us. The key to our hope, is found in the place it is anchored upon.

 

We can cast the anchor of our hope upon finances, relationships, organisations, careers, religion, health, possessions, intellect and many other things that may move in a storm. It only requires tragedy to befall us to reveal whether we have true hope.

 

I believe there are some real keys to learn during times of real "gut wrenching" hardship, that leaves us alone, powerless and without an anchor. Here are five key areas that we need to embrace in order to develop hope that empowers us.

 

1. Never bail out of the boat in a storm

 

Years ago, I was sailing out on the harbour as a novice sailor, with four other experienced sailors. The conditions changed dramatically and the wind changed from 15 to 40 knots in minutes. The helmsman made a call to head for harbour and we all took our positions. The call came to "come about" and some poor seamanship saw the yacht breach and I found my jacket and oilskins filling with sea water as my head and shoulders were under water. My initial response was to un-attach my safety harness and swim for the shore. The captain screamed at me "don't unhook." I heard him, but it didn’t make sense at the time as I was swallowing sea water and choking. With one change of sail, the boat came about and righted its self. We finally reached shore an hour or so later, wet, bedraggled and thankful we were alive.

I honestly believed I was safer on my own, than in the boat. Truth is, I wouldn’t be writing this, had I not gone against my initial instincts to survive. During the storms of life, don’t bail out of the boat.

Here are some things that happen to our minds during a storm:

a) We make irrational and often fatal decisions

b) We lose sight of the big picture

c) We think there is only us in the storm

d) We tend to go it alone

I love this quote:

"I stopped chasing my impossible goals, which were depressing me, and started refocusing on what I loved". (Linda Blondheim)

I love it because it removes the mystical factor of goal setting. I find many goal setting plans are actually very intimidating. Intimidating because they almost put us into bondage with routine and rules. One of the greatest ways of achieving success in goal setting, is to make goals that we actually desire to achieve. Discipline rarely works with the undisciplined. Why? because it there is no fundamental desire to achieve, there will be no success.

We can spend months trying to get a teenager to tidy their room or even shower regularly (especially males). But when they discover the fairer sex.....Bring an attractive girl onto the scene and watch the instant change! The room is cleaned up, the after shave comes out and the daggy tee shirts are gone and out comes the new. Why? Because there is an inbuilt motivation that creates self discipline.

If you want to be successful in your goal setting, find goals that already have a selfish streak in them. After all, we will always achieve them, if they include an inherent desire. Why not set two inspiring goals for every one "less inspiring" and watch your attitude change towards goal setting.

After several months of reviewing and updating the content from my old site, I have made headway in finally migrating the key material to the new address. It's amazing just how much "stuff" we accumulate through they years in life and website's have a way of keeping you "lean and mean", especially when you PAY for the space used!.

Life isn't as clinical as that and in my case, I am sure thats why I have a propensity to hoard. I am without doubt "a failed minimalist". True! I have been making preparations to put my house in order for possible sale and we moved most of the "stuff" into a hired storage unit. It got me thinking. "If I can survive without that "stuff" then why do I have it"?

Maybe we should take stock (literally) as to how much un necessary "stuff" we carry around in life and dump it.

• Emotional baggage
• Financial indebtedness
• Relational problems
• Thankless routines
• Endless mundane activities
• Habits that hold us back

The list is endless, but maybe together we could tick some of the boxes and start to put the stuff in its rightful place!

Several years ago, I was visiting my parent’s grave site on a cold and wintery afternoon in late February. As you can imagine it was fraught with emotion and lacking in any sense of purpose or future. As I was wandering aimlessly around the cemetery, I was taken with the numerous grave sites with headstones embellished with words which in most cases had been kept to twenty six or less, in order to fit on the stone. I was quite tearful as my parent’s stone hadn’t been unveiled as yet and we were all in a quandary as to how we could limit a person’s life to twenty six words or less. It struck me as I pondered the headstones, how almost all of them had a dash entered between the dates of “Born” and “Died”.  Joseph Thomas January 14^th 1924 – February 14^th 2008.

 

That “dash” represented the sum total of the person’s existence. Just one simple hyphen, a mere nudge of a chisel and all their dreams, hopes, celebrations of joy along with their fears and anxiety, recorded in stone. Their lives (as with ours), were expressed in a finite expression of living life between the "dash".

 

Whilst this symbol of a life lived, is crass in its attempt to summarize one’s life, it is a stark reminder of the importance of (at the least), living life full and dying spent. As the old saying goes “many die with the music still in them”.  Life was never intended to be lived cautiously or reserved. It was meant to be lived to the full. Live life full, but die spent.  Spent is a term often associated with wild salmon, whose sole purpose in life is to fulfill their lives journey and return to their birth place, to give life to future generations?  Burned into their DNA is their life purpose and journey. No holding back for finer weather or better options. This same unselfish motive should be ours by intent. This is living life between the "dash".

 

“Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life. Both life and death are parts of the same Great Adventure”. -Theodore Roosevelt

According to the ancient Chinese proverb, A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy We all enjoy arriving at the destination "are we there yet" don't we?As a child, taking our annual vacation by the coast was perhaps one of my fondest memories. The excitement was more than profound during the lead up, than during the journey, but the wonderment of arriving was almost bursting point. I remember so well leaping from the bus and racing to the beach without a care in the world. Often times, I recall my mothers shouts of "slow down" and "watch that road" almost as distant thunder to my ears. Never the less, my destination was imperative and the journey almost a chore and bewilderment.Life can be a similar chore to us, with myriads of obstacles and stopping places alnong the journey to our percieved destination. But what is our destination in life, and why are we so obsessed in "getting there" that we miss out on the excitement of the journey! I am convinced that as I "mature" in life, I am far less concerned with "quantity" and more desirous of "quality." "Things" hold less interest than does "Time." I am coming to terms with a life that is able to smell the roses in the heat of the day. As Robert Louis Stevenson said, "Some people swallow the universe like a pill; they travel on through the world, like smiling images pushed from behind". Over the next space of time, I want you to consider with me "The journey". Reflect together on "Living between the dash". Whilst we do this lets consider the unknown authors thoughts, "The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a surprise. Man's future is hidden". -Source Unknown

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